Night and nights of Imsomnia..
without anyone by myside..
msg sum1 but alas it seems like no topic to talk about..
so decided to turn into silence mode..
leaving me myself alone,
drowning in lotsa lotsa problem..
not about working..
and definitely not studying..
thinking over the same thing again and all over again..
wondering when could all this stop..
Xmas day,
In the half way of msging,
he pop up a question.
Am i willing to be his gf.
My eyes are reading,
my heart feels nothg.
and alas i smiled
not bcos im happy
its bcos i dono how to answer
i admit sometime life could be very lonely
but i had enough of everytg
i want to take no more
cus im afraid my heart aint tat strong
to take the blow for another time
He asked me isit bcos of Jon
I pretended and asked him what has Jon got to do with me
But deep inside my heart im yelling for a yes
Then i kept the question hanging there.
It could be good this way
Both parties wont end up in bleeding heart
Im afraid to lose
so im gona take no risk
I love the feeling of being loved of cos
but being in love with sum1 i dun love
is totally a crap.
I dont dare to say no
cus im afraid i might regret
i missed the opportunity before
and regretted somehow sumway
am i going to go through the same thg again?
i hope not
God
im really tired
i dont wish to be in this way anymore
I just wana lead my life the way i do
with my beloved friend surrounding me
totally free from love life
if u want to give me sum1
i would rather
it to be the same person whom i never give up all this while.
Y cant just girl and boy be friend?
all couple start with friendship
but how many actually back to the square wen they break up
can couple return back to friendship?
if u aint 100% sure it would
y bother to start at first
tat's somethg i neve think of and neglected in the past
if i would by tat time
then i wouldnt step one of my leg into the grave of love..
love is blind
it makes u sacrifice without any reason
give in without any limit
but in return
its a cut in the heart,
memories left all over in the place both of us stopped b4,
memories of warmth and love,
memories of hugs and kisses,
memories of holding hands,
memories of one-moment-of-forever,
one moment of eternity love.
God
I pass my heart to u
shall let u decide on my feelings
I pass my fate to u
shall let u decide on my next step
I pass my future to u
which im sure u would grant me happiness
Nothg would be more important than having my prayers granted
Road to work everyday
which passes the temple
would never make me failed to pray
the scene seems kept repeating
everyday
same road
same purpose of passing by that road
same temple
same prayers.
i would never stop
til u grant me my wish.
Santa
u r not granting my wish this year
perhaps im too naughty
perhaps im not being a goodgirl
i dont blame u santa
still i haf to thank u for some moment tat u gave to me for xmas tis year
sumhow i tink its a moment of humiliation
sumhow i tink its a kind of bless too
i dono
i guess i think too much
Xmas 2008 start with meeting the same person ended with the same person too
anyhoo
thx for those who texted me tat nite.
Labels: Random^^
Chlo_e at
12/26/2008 09:35:00 PM
